When I pulled out the Enby from its packaging, I had one thought: “What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” My first impression was that it looked like a bike seat, and it didn’t seem like something I could use on my penis or butt.

Wild Flower’s gender-free sex toy is billed as a “vibrator for every body,” but I had doubts about it working with my anatomy. For reference, I’m a cisgender man, which means the gender with which I identify (male) coincides with my birth sex. The language surrounding the product and the entire ad campaign features trans and nonbinary people, which makes sense, since, after all, enby is a short form of the word non-binary. Let me clarify: I would be completely fine if the Enby wasn’t for me. God knows there are plenty of sex toys for cisgender men, and not nearly enough for nonbinary and trans folks. However, it’s supposed to be for everyone, so I wanted to try it out.

The Enby looks and has a similar texture to a stingray. It even has wings that move with a similar range to that of the cartilaginous fish. The Enby, according to Wild Flower’s website, can be “humped, rubbed on, tucked in a harness, and placed between bodies to offer stimulation in all the right places.”

The press kit mentioned that you could fold over the wings into a circular shape to wrap around your penis à la a Fleshlight, so that’s where I started. To be honest, it really didn’t work. The wings felt like they were going to break, and there are specific devices, like any masturbator sleeve ever created, that are expressly designed to simulate a tight anus or vagina. A coiled stingray just isn’t going to feel nearly as good.

So I tried sticking it up my ass. As someone who likes being pegged and isn’t afraid of experiencing a full-body prostate orgasm, it seemed like a logical option. However, have you tried sticking a bike seat up your rear end? No, you can’t. That’s because it’s not a phallus. It’s a bike seat. I got a little bit of the tip inside me, but there was nothing I could really do after that. It didn’t feel good, just cumbersome. Instead, I turned on the vibration and sat on it, since after all, that’s what bike seats are for.

Since I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, I was surprised by the outcome. The vibrations were strong, and I settled on a pulsing mode that would give a few small buzzes, followed by a powerful, longer vibration. I was sitting upright on the device, which as any man can tell you, isn’t the most comfortable position to masturbate, especially if you don’t have anything supporting your lower back. But I wanted to find the point where it “hit the spot.” After scooching my booty up and down, I found it.

At the front of the Enby, which I guess would be called the “tip” side, there’s the most intense vibration, and the tip is slightly raised and a perfect size to gently nuzzle itself in between your cheeks. While not inside of you, it still hits your anus, giving you the sensation of having something in there.

Needless to say, this is an ideal product for men who don’t feel comfortable putting something inside of themselves. (I do, however, highly recommend that you get over yourself and just try it, especially if you’re someone who values sexual pleasure.) It’s also perfect for men, like myself, who aren’t always squeaky clean down there, but still want to have anal pleasure sans mess.

After finding the spot, I lied down on my bed. It then took some readjusting to get the Enby to create a full-body tingle inside of me, but even while supine, I was able to yet again find the spot. Then, with porn blasting on my laptop beside me, I started masturbating. All the while I was involuntarily gyrating my behind in a way that maximized pleasure. It didn’t take long to finish, since sexual activity is always more pleasurable and intense for me when anal play is involved. Without a doubt, I had a far more intense orgasm using the Enby than I usually do while masturbating without any toys. Best part was, cleanup was super easy. A light rinse of the Enby with some soap and warm water, and you can put it back in the bag.

Despite my initial reluctance, the Enby undoubtedly worked. Will it replace my Autoblow 2+XT or Lifetime Silicone Stroker? No, but it’s not trying to. It’s an additional tool that you can use by yourself, or with your partner, no matter what their gender is.

Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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